So you connect with someone interesting on a dating app. Maybe not the best looking guy, not back, but the conversation is good so you plan to get coffee. He doesn't work at the moment. You plan to meet after you get off work. He says he has to make dinner, takes an hour, and then he "really should go for a run", so ditches on the first round of plans. You make solid plans for the next day after work to get that coffee.
Fast forward to Day 2, you get off work, look at your phone to find a text that he went running downtown, almost got hit by some dude, and therefore doesn't want to drive anywhere right now... WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?!
During the conversation the night before, he complained about girls always disappearing and stopping talking to him, but if you bail on plans two days in a row when you're complaining how bored you are, how many chances should a self-respecting woman give you? Like seriously, grow the fuck up. Obviously you are the problem.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Sunday, June 19, 2016
June Nineteen
I fell in love, and then suddenly, he changed his mind and wanted to be single for a while. So here I am, healing and finding myself again.
I had just recently become content with being by myself and getting to a happy place, and he had to make me fall for him in the most complete way.
No.
I am self-sufficient, I am happy. I don't need to have someone in my life to make it complete. I have a great family who are always there for me, I have several close friends at work to support me through the tough days, and I have a variety of friends to draw from, when they aren't too busy with their own lives.
That seems to be the trend, make really good friends with people and then don't see them for a month or so and they completely forget about me.
I think what had made me happily single before was the solo adventure I took over to Europe earlier this year. I planned it for a couple months, then I just went and did it. I was engaged completely with the planning and self-sufficient aspect of it, what it would be like to travel alone for the first time in my life. I lived alone in a different city for university, but there was always family just a short flight away and family friends in the city. Going over to a country where I had no ties, no one to answer to, no one I had to meet, absolutely no one... that was freeing. I had no one back home I wanted to want me, I had a few sexual encounters with a Viking I met while overseas, and one with a fellow traveler. Now I'm free to pursue those activities back home, and all I think about is him. I still love him, but I hate him for getting behind my walls and occupying space in my heart and my head.
My friend told me it just takes time to get over heartbreak, a fact I am all too familiar with from the last 5 years. I guess it had just been so long since I was heartsick that I forgot how painful it is.
Another friend of mine is going to get me out into nature, weekend trips, get me out and meeting new people and getting fit. I envy how free she is and how she approaches relationships; I hope I can learn some peace from her.
I am beginning yoga again, hope to bring more meditation, mindfullness and calm to my heart and soul. I feel torn in so many directions it hurts inside. I want all these things I can't obtain or have lost, and perhaps a more yoga-centric life will help me balance everything. Also, then I can get stronger and more flexible and do awesome yoga bendy shit, even more bendy than I am already!
I AM going to be at peace.
I AM going to be happy.
I AM myself, and I am single.
I had just recently become content with being by myself and getting to a happy place, and he had to make me fall for him in the most complete way.
No.
I am self-sufficient, I am happy. I don't need to have someone in my life to make it complete. I have a great family who are always there for me, I have several close friends at work to support me through the tough days, and I have a variety of friends to draw from, when they aren't too busy with their own lives.
That seems to be the trend, make really good friends with people and then don't see them for a month or so and they completely forget about me.
I think what had made me happily single before was the solo adventure I took over to Europe earlier this year. I planned it for a couple months, then I just went and did it. I was engaged completely with the planning and self-sufficient aspect of it, what it would be like to travel alone for the first time in my life. I lived alone in a different city for university, but there was always family just a short flight away and family friends in the city. Going over to a country where I had no ties, no one to answer to, no one I had to meet, absolutely no one... that was freeing. I had no one back home I wanted to want me, I had a few sexual encounters with a Viking I met while overseas, and one with a fellow traveler. Now I'm free to pursue those activities back home, and all I think about is him. I still love him, but I hate him for getting behind my walls and occupying space in my heart and my head.
My friend told me it just takes time to get over heartbreak, a fact I am all too familiar with from the last 5 years. I guess it had just been so long since I was heartsick that I forgot how painful it is.
Another friend of mine is going to get me out into nature, weekend trips, get me out and meeting new people and getting fit. I envy how free she is and how she approaches relationships; I hope I can learn some peace from her.
I am beginning yoga again, hope to bring more meditation, mindfullness and calm to my heart and soul. I feel torn in so many directions it hurts inside. I want all these things I can't obtain or have lost, and perhaps a more yoga-centric life will help me balance everything. Also, then I can get stronger and more flexible and do awesome yoga bendy shit, even more bendy than I am already!
I AM going to be at peace.
I AM going to be happy.
I AM myself, and I am single.
Monday, January 18, 2016
January Eighteen
Ok! Getting better at living my healthier life, let time moping around, bemoaning my lack of a partner. I don't need no man! Then I watch any movie/TV show...
Got back to the boot camp today, hated hauling myself there, but I was find once I was in, as always. Too lazy afterwards to go grocery shopping, so I just came home and ate more overcooked pork. Hopefully the weight keeps coming off at the same pace. Even if I'm 10lbs lighter by the time I take my trip, I would love it. But I knooooooow I'm going to eat the fuck out of everything on holiday, so I'll just have to start again when I get back. Although all the walking will help balance that out.
Other than that, not much to report today. Cute guy I was going to ask out for drinks moved to another city, just learned that today, so that kinda sucks. Oh well. One more guy to fall out of crush with.
Now to tank up on water and head to bed!
Got back to the boot camp today, hated hauling myself there, but I was find once I was in, as always. Too lazy afterwards to go grocery shopping, so I just came home and ate more overcooked pork. Hopefully the weight keeps coming off at the same pace. Even if I'm 10lbs lighter by the time I take my trip, I would love it. But I knooooooow I'm going to eat the fuck out of everything on holiday, so I'll just have to start again when I get back. Although all the walking will help balance that out.
Other than that, not much to report today. Cute guy I was going to ask out for drinks moved to another city, just learned that today, so that kinda sucks. Oh well. One more guy to fall out of crush with.
Now to tank up on water and head to bed!
Friday, January 15, 2016
January Fifteen
Yet another day off sick. I can't hear shit and I think I have a sinus infection... Yay! Quite a party! Went through my office/studio closet, weeded out some old clothes and moved crap around on the shelves. Overall, did not much. Felt good though. Filed pay stubs. Reeeeeeally need to get up the drive to haul all the cardboard and garbage down to the bins. So lazy. I blame it on the headache and the cold sweats.
Oh!! Finally finished reading the old blog the New York girl wrote about cooking through Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Was kind of an anticlimactic wrap up, but I guess that's how real life is. Uuuuuuugh my faaaaaack my sinuses hurt! But it hurts to blow my nose too... Gaaaaaaah!
Sitting at work makes me wish I had the day off, but then having time off to get better suuuuuuucks. I'm so bored! I don't want to go out and get more people sick, and I sure as hell don't want to clean the fucking kitchen, so I'm stuck watching more of The Office. I think all the awkward is making me more sick. God damn I wish I had a guy like Jim. He's so sweet to Pam. And tall! I need a tall sweet guy. No! Fuck that! I don't need no man!...*sigh* Yes I do. Dammit.
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