Shaved!!

I have been feeling really strange lately, like sometimes I feel really focused and on top of things, then one small thing happens, and it throws me all out of whack. The Boy and I had a stupid fight, he mistook something I said to try and help, and of course, blew it all out of proportion, so didn't really talk for a couple days, and I am just sick of him being such a hypocritical little bitch about everything. I'm kind of getting sick of him in general, but only when he's being a whiner. I haven't been doing things just for me, he's almost always got input on things I do, or some opinion. I need him to butt the hell out sometimes. When I ask for his help or opinion, ok. But otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself!

Anyway, I just needed a change, even something small, and I've been thinking about shaving part of my head for a while now, so I called my hairdresser and made an appointment for today before I could change my mind. I headed over and she cut the patch off as soon as I got in the chair so I had no time to think about it. It turned out awesome, she straightened my hair and I love it! I can't stop touching the shaved part.

I love it all the more because The Boy doesn't want me to have short hair or look like a boy, so it's all about me and what I want. Don't worry, I don't look butch at all, because the rest is still long. And its positioned so when I have my hair down, you can't even see it, so job appearance won't be a problem. 

These are just some images of inspirations, nothing here is quite like what I've done :) I want to shave a shape into the side, but don't know what to do (stars are cliche, don't even mention it) but I'm open to suggestions :)

Replaced?

There's this girl, right? She's new in my boyfriend's town, and they were friends before. They hang out a lot, go for drinks, maybe a dinner or two, and she calls him at like 3 in the morning when she's drunk!! Even when I'm there!!! Apparently she does this with everyone and I shouldn't be bothered, but I hate it. She's always commenting on his Facebook. It's like they are getting closer than we are, because they are in the same city, and I can't be there. Almost like she's a replacement girlfriend for the closeness and social stuff. It just worries me as to if it's going to stay innocent like that...

I am trying to let go of the jealousy and suspicion, but that's just the kind of person I am. I'm very territorial and I hate sharing. She should go get her own fucking boyfriend, LEAVE MINE ALONE!!! 

Fantastic Life :)

I don't know why, but something has happened this semester that just makes me feel fantastic about everything, my home, myself, my baccalaureate project, my relationships... Everything! I feel myself becoming more mature and responsible, more organized, thus having more time be become a well-rounded person.

One of the things I wish I could change is my "look", my style, but I think it will take either a big move or a career beginning to be able to change that, too many clothes and a pretty mellow style. I just don't have the energy in the mornings to do more than drag my sorry ass out of bed, throw on a tank top and jean with a pair of sneakers and brush my teeth, let alone spend hours on my hair and makeup, then get in a dress and traipse around in heels all day.


BUT I wish I could! The girls that do look so pretty, and I watch these movies (Chocolat, 2000) and the women are so elegant and womanly and romantic. Then there's me, jeans and t-shirt, barely brushed hair and definitely not womanly. It's not that I look bad, I think I'm fairly attractive, but it's an athletic, could-survive-if-the-world-went-all-Road-Warrior kind of attractive. It's strong, not delicate and womanly, warm or soft.


This may stem from the being taller, playing sports and dominating in Gym class, but I kind of hate it. I want my boyfriend to look at me like I'm feminine and pretty. He says I'm pretty, but I don't feel the woman in it.

Any tips for an athletic girl wanting to turn feminine?

Aaaand Another One Bites The Dust

Found out yesterday that there's another friend from school who dated the guy for a year and a half and is marrying him in October. I've known my boy longer than that, most of it dating, and we are no where even close! He can't even bring himself to say the four letter word (his term for it). It's starting to make me wonder, is it me, or is it the small town syndrome?