So, I decided to try this blogging thing because I never really was good at keeping a diary. I love jotting down my thoughts, but sometimes there are too many things and writing is just too slow. So catharsis demands that I get this out.
I don't know if this is just me, but things in the past bother me. Not big things like the Holocaust, that bothers everyone, to put it simply. I mean things about other people's pasts that don't really affect you, but you can't help but being jealous or letting it bother you. Pictures of people before they knew me, maybe with an ex, they bother the HELL out of me. And I go snooping around for them! I think I'm slightly masochistic. I just feel the need to find these things, look at them, create the history behind the pictures. I break myself down; they look happier with them, were they happier with them? Do they compare me to them? How do I measure up? And I do all this willingly. WHY??? Why do I feel the urge to find these things that just make me feel like shit?
Now I feel the need to talk to the significant other about this, but they feel I have no right to feel pissed off/ annoyed/ sad/ upset/ vindictive/ jealous/ etc. about anything in the past.
Thoughts?
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