Self

I feel like I've lost my sense of self here. We keep having stupid little fights over the most ridiculous things, and he calls me a liar when I say something I think is true but my understanding is wrong. That's not lying in my opinion, that's a misunderstanding of the situation in the first place. But I didn't apologize for being mistaken, so he got pissed and yelled at me, so last night was kind of a write off. But he sleeps stuff off well, so today is better.

I'm a bit annoyed as he won't even let me give him a peck on the cheek in front of his roommate, because they don't want to live with a couple. I think they can handle a couple kisses here and there, and we haven't even made out since I got here, so I really don't think they are bothered. They haven't been here most of the fricking time anyway! 

The lack of kissing is a bit of a worry to me though. It makes me wonder about the attraction between us. I'm ready and raring to go, but he doesn't seem to want to snog me or even kiss me very much. He says he never liked to French kiss (not what I remember from Christmas and last time we were together) and that I should know him better! Well I can't fucking know you if you keep changing your whole personality! Bit of exaggeration in there but he does change faces a lot. 

Is it a bad sign if I have been here for 3 days and I still have all my stuff in my bag? I have a toothbrush in the bathroom and a jacket and dress hung up (expensive ones) but other than that, I don't even have a shelf for my stuff that keeps falling around in my bag and I have to dig through it. I would be happy just for one for little stuff, not even clothes. Girls, you know what a pain it is to dig to the bottom of a backpack for makeup and jewelry.

I came upstairs because he's playing video games and getting really heated and doesn't want me to see him like that, his words. So... by my reasoning, if he doesn't want me to see him like that, shouldn't he refrain from playing while I'm around and save it for when I go out with friends? You know, that makes sense in my mind because I came across an ocean for a summer to be with him, and he wants to sit and play video games that just piss him off! It does not make any sense to me at all.

Anyway, here are a few images for your viewing pleasure.